PETTY PETS · An entirely fictional department
Good pets.
Bad behavior.
Official paperwork.
A paper trail for the tiny household crimes, suspicious naps, and snack-related incidents nobody can prove.
Entirely fictional. The pet is not under arrest.
Department notes
All charges are make-believe.
No actual arrests are made.
Good pets. Questionable alibis.
01 / The evidence room
Small crimes.
A serious paper trail.
Vintage police records, classified notices, and retro office bureaucracy set the scene. Every case is parody; every suspect is very good at being a pet.
Grand theft rotisserie.
Suspect found near the serving plate. Crumb trail inconclusive. Remorse not detected.
Fictional exhibit · not a customer file
Filed under
The couch. The snack cupboard. The forbidden keyboard.
Possible charge
Grand theft rotisserie. Unlicensed zoomies. Misuse of the good pillow.
Case disposition
Entirely unofficial. Immediately appealed. No actual arrest.
02 / Launch focus
The Criminal Record
The first concept in the PETTY PETS case files: a make-believe police record for pets accused of the smallest, silliest household crimes.
03 / Jurisdiction
A few procedural notes.
Are these real official documents?
Absolutely not. Every charge and investigation is fictional entertainment. Your pet remains legally adorable.
What does “criminal” mean here?
A stolen snack, a suspicious nap, or other harmless household mischief. This is parody, not an accusation.
Case status: entirely fictional
They know what they did.
The paperwork is make-believe. The side-eye is real.